At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize