i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
