Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
