Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
