I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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