dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
