She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
