U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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