i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
