is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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