What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize