she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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