what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
