He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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