I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
