My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
