so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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