Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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