I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
