if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I understand Curling. That high.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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