I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
