I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
