are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
