"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
