...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize