Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
