Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
