i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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