But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
