I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
