There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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