i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
whose parrot is this?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
