i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
