Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
