It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
