In the future we'll all be gay
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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