If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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