does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
