so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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