so explain again why im purple
no
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
