Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
