she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
