NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
