Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
