There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
