Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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