Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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