The brown eye won't let me do that either.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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