new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize