No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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