my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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