jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
