iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize