you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
