I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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