She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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