Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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