We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
