He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
