When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize