evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
