i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
