respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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