Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
