i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
