Sponge bath it is.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
