i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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