He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
