Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
