so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize