Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
one two three fourrrrnication!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
