I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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