I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
