I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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