i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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