Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
