All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
