my vag is so smooth its legendary
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize