I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
