just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's rum buckets o'clock
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
