Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
