wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
