I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
