Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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