went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
