yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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