is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Terrible idea I love it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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