I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
